Funny Stories

Posted on 6 November 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Deciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared that oatmeal would now be his cereal of choice.

But after eating his first bowl, he told my sister, "I hope I develop a taste for the stuff. It doesn't go down easy."

"Well," she asked, "how long did you cook it?"

"You're supposed to cook it?" he said.

-- Story submitted by anonymous   [Funny Stories]



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The congregation of a small stone church decided that the stone which formed the step up to the front door had become too worn by its years of use, and would have to be replaced. As a sign of the faithfulness of members over the years, the stone had a pronounced dip in the middle, well-worn by parishioners entering and leaving the chapel.

Unfortunately, there were hardly any funds available for the replacement. Then someone came up with the bright idea that the replacement could be postponed for many years by simply turning the block of stone over.

They discovered that their great-grandparents had beaten them to it.

-- Story submitted by Kevin Bert   [Funny Stories]



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My friend just recently bought a new computer. The owner connected all the necessary wires and monitor etc.... He went to turn it on and nothing came on but the monitor. So he checked the wire connections and still nothing but the monitor.

He then called my friend over to his house to see if he could help. He check the connections and still nothing but the monitor came on. They called tech support and explained their situation and same thing happened. Tech support was puzzled. My friend then took the case off and low and behold they found their problem.

There was nothing inside - no processor, no simms, no boards nothing but an empty case and a few wires. Someone had previously purchased this PC and took everything out and returned it back to the store.

-- Story submitted by ghost   [Funny Stories]



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I work for verizon fios tech support which deals with internet, TV and phone services. Normally at the beginning of the call we pull customers accounts up by telephone number.

I got a call from an enraged middle aged lady and when asked for her number she relpied "I don't have a fios telephone line." I continued to ask for the account holders name and finally pulled the account up. After my whole intro schpeel was done I asked how I could assist her.

She then went into a rage stating she had no dial tone and this was unacceptable and needed a tech out immediately for the fact that she's diabetic (she pronounced it 'die-a-bee-tus' btw) and this could entail with major risks to her health if she was unable to call for help. Baffled at her contradiction, I paused at her demand and finally asked, "But I thought you said didn't have phone service through us? And secondly, how did you reach me then (politely implying you must have a working phone, so what's the real emergency anyways, lady?)"

After referring her to her phone provider she then continues on..."Well since I have you on the line, I guess you could help me with this wireless internet thing."

Line test...MoCA port down - meaning router is either off or data port wasn't properly bounced to router and needs reset.

Me: Well my line test does indicate there is a problem at the router, can you check how many lights you have?

Cx: Router... what's that?

Me: Black box about 8 inches long, has an antenna, usually has 5-6 green lights on it.

Cx: Oh that thing? I kept tripping over the cords so I put it in the closet.

Me: So you disconnected it? If so we need to reconnect that.

Cx: Why should that matter?? (again getting irate) It's supposed to be WIRELESS. THAT'S WHY I WENT WITH FIOS, I WANTED TO GO WIRELESS! THAT IS FALSE ADVERTISEMENT!

Needless to say the rest of the conversation at this point, I lost quite a few brain cells that call.

Another funny wireless call I got was a customer in California called in asked. "So I'm trying to connect but I can't get a signal on my wireless."

Me: How far away from the router are you?

Cx: Oh, I'm not at home, I'm on vacation in Colorado.

The fact that these people can dress themselves is a miracle in its own.

-- Story submitted by ghost   [Funny Stories]



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