Funny Stories

Posted on 8 October 2019


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

When I arrived at my father's apartment complex, I was greeted by the disconcerting sight of a fire truck parked outside. There was no sign of smoke, and the firefighters didn't seem worried. Still, I asked one, "Is it safe to go inside? I'm a little wary of entering a building when the fire truck's lights are on."

"Don't worry about it," he said. "We do it all the time."

-- Story submitted by Kate Lol   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


Felix was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into the rough. As Felix headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned him, "Be careful, the rattlesnakes are out."

The chief explained that calls had been coming in all week requesting assistance with removing the snakes.

"You've got to be kidding," Felix replied in astonishment. "People actually call the fire department to help them with rattlesnakes? What do you say to them?"

"Well," said the chief, "the first thing I ask is, 'Is it on fire?'"

-- Story submitted by Ian Botler   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


At a prestigious university there is a clear hierarchy that outlines how long one was to wait for a class to begin if the professor were absent. A full professor rated fifteen minutes. An associate only ten. A mere instructor was expected to be on time, if not early. This system worked only one way, however; and students were afforded no such grace.

It was to be expected, therefore, that one professor, the foremost authority in his field by his own admission, would register distinct annoyance when a student, just out of military service, was late for class for the third morning running.

"Tell me," the professor began, "exactly what did they say in the Army when you sauntered in late like this?"

"Well," mused the unperturbed young man... "first they saluted, then they asked, 'How are you this morning, Sir?'"

-- Story submitted by Lorraine   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


From "The Houston Chronicle":

A defense attorney in a Northern California murder case says he believes Max the parrot may hold the answer to who smothered Jane Gill to death in her bedroom two years ago. But an attempt to get the African gray parrot's testimony into evidence last week was blocked by the judge.

Max was found dehydrated and hungry in his cage two days after Gill's murder. After the parrot was coaxed back to health at a pet shop, the shop's owner said the bird began to cry out, "Richard, no, no, no!" The man charged in the case is Gill's business partner, and his name is not Richard. He says he is innocent.

Gary Dixon, a private investigator working on the case, surmised that the bird is now in a witness-protection program. "Max's identity has been changed, and he is now a macaw," he said.

-- Story submitted by law-n-don   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


WOODBRIDGE, N.J. - Whiskers were one clue that the burglar wasn't in it just for the money. A Woodbridge man has told police he came home to find someone had broken into his house and taken $500 from a bedroom dresser. But that wasn't all.

The man's razor had been used and whiskers were left all over the sink. Some Life Savers were also missing.

The man told police the burglar had left behind black socks on the floor next to his bed.

There has been no arrest.

-- Story submitted by edd   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5