Funny Stories

Posted on 13 September 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

On a visit to my wife's native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London's Gatwick Airport.

My new bride headed for the British passport control line while I, an American, waited in the foreigners' line. When my turn came, the customs officer asked me the purpose of my visit.

"Pleasure," I replied. "I'm on my honeymoon."

The officer looked first to one side of me, then the other. "That's very interesting, sir," he said as he stamped my passport. "Most men bring their wives with them."

-- Story submitted by Gomer   [Funny Stories]



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Our son had only heard his grandfather pray at Thanksgiving, Easter, and other special occasions; when he typically would say a long prayer over the food.

One night, after a fun camp-out and fishing trip, Grandfather (to our son's surprise) asked a very brief blessing on the food. With a gleam in his eye, our son grinned at his grandfather and said, "You don't pray so long when you're hungry, do you Grandpa?"

-- Story submitted by Tim Long   [Funny Stories]



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I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child."

It had been our second date.

-- Story submitted by anonymous   [Funny Stories]



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I was working for a tech support outfit that operated 56k support all over the country. I get this call from a old man from North Carolina.

Customer: "Yer Internet ain't working, I stuck the disk in there and it ain't doing a thing."

Me: "Well Sir, we can do everything that the disk does manually, just take the disk out and we will take care of it."

I hear the disk slide out and then...

Customer : "Ya'll be quite back der I can't here the man speak."

Sheep :"BAAAAH,BAAAH..."

-- Story submitted by ghost   [Funny Stories]



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