Funny Stories

Posted on 11 August 2019


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Harry Truman, when he was U.S President, once addressed the Washington Garden Club and kept referring to 'good manure' that must be used on flowers.

Some society ladies complained (later) to the First Lady Margaret Truman, "Bess, can't you get the President to say fertilizer instead of manure?"

The First Lady replied, "Heavens, it took me 25 years to get him to say 'manure'."

-- Story submitted by Alan King   [Funny Stories]



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Christopher, my husband, had just logged a month of 12-hour days, seven days a week on a large construction project. Our three-year-old daughter, feeling somewhat abandoned by her daddy, was less than pleased when she found him in the bathroom one Sunday morning, preparing for work yet again.

"Where you going, Daddy?" she asked mournfully.

"Oh, gotta go to work," he replied. Trying to explain why, he added, "Gotta bring home the bacon."

Melissa spun around and sped down the hallway, then quickly came pattering back shouting, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" and flourishing a pound of bacon.

-- Story submitted by Kate Lol   [Funny Stories]



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A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer.

Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

-- Story submitted by pico   [Funny Stories]



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While touring historic buildings in Alexandria, Virginia, we visited an old church. The guide told us that George Washington had attended services there and pointed to his pew.

A reverent silence fell. The guide, encouraged by this, went on to tell us that church services back then had been very lengthy -- frequently lasting three hours or more.

The mood of the moment was shattered when an anonymous voice whispered loudly, "So George Washington slept here too!"

-- Story submitted by Emma Brooks   [Funny Stories]



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On my birthday I got a really funny card from a friend. It joked about how our bodies might be getting older, but our minds were still "tarp as shacks".

I wanted to thank the friend who sent the card, but I couldn't. She forgot to sign it.

-- Story submitted by Betsy   [Funny Stories]



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