Funny Stories

Posted on 21 November 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

My plane had just landed at Manchester airport from Spain. I couldn't find my airport luggage, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.

"Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

-- Story submitted by Henco   [Funny Stories]



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Our daughter is a popular teacher at her high school. When the yearbook was ready, students and teachers signed each other's copies.

One of the comments a student wrote in our daughter's book was "Your a great English teacher."

-- Story submitted by Betsy   [Funny Stories]



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One day my 4-year-old daughter, Rachel, was running around the house in her bathing suit and playing with her float that we took with us on vacation. I heard her saying, "swimming, swimming" and making the motions with her hands.

Being the indulgent Mom that I am, I asked her, "Are you swimming, Sweetie?"

Her reply: "No, I'm pretending, Mommy... there's no water in here!"

-- Story submitted by Karen Palos   [Funny Stories]



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In the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we have received an early weather report from our in-house weather reporters. This is one, you should be sure to email your Mom. Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

-- Story submitted by Rose Doran   [Funny Stories]



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