Funny Stories

Posted on 14 May 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time. He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.

He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared more space. The next day Ray put the cement blocks back down, only to find that the ground was too hard to keep the patio level.

He ordered a truckload of sand to be delivered the following morning. Again he stacked the 100 blocks against the house.

Observing all this, our next-door neighbor asked, "Ray, are you going to put your patio away every night?"

-- Story submitted by Monica Burt   [Funny Stories]



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I noticed a deaf couple in the library talking to each other, evidently in a heated argument. The wife was getting more upset, using large signs, her husband could see that she was upset.

Finally, he took both her hands in his, and signed, "Honey, you don't have to yell, I am not blind!"

-- Story submitted by baks   [Funny Stories]



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A woman was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog retriever - guaranteed to work."

Inside was an electric can opener.

-- Story submitted by Vanessa   [Funny Stories]



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As a member of an Internet awareness survey team, we had visited a home.

The unruly owner asked, "Tell me the difference between washing machine and Internet?"

When I was cursing my luck, my colleague answered, "The former washes your cloth and the later washes your brain."

-- Story submitted by Richard Ogden   [Funny Stories]



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