Funny Stories

Posted on 21 March 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

After an hour of "Just a little more white, two squirts of blue, a dash of black, perhaps a tad more white," the paint store clerk got my gallon to the exact shade I wanted. With a sigh of relief, he pounded the lid on.

"Now what do I do if I need more paint?" I asked.

"Don't come back here," he begged.

-- Story submitted by Peter Rossi   [Funny Stories]



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When my son, Mike, was 4, he and his little brother were outside playing in the snow. As I stood there watching them, I decided to put one of their saucer sleds against the snow bank behind me to lean back on. As I stood there, the sled began to move. I moved with it back and forth, while keeping my feet in the same position. It was fun and I felt like I must look like a windshield wiper.

So, I said to Mike, (knowing full well that he'd know EXACTLY what I was thinking, as he usually does), "Hey Mike!! What does Mommy look like?!"

Mike looked up to me, and without blinking an eye, nonchalantly replied, "An idiot."

-- Story submitted by Ann Poluchek   [Funny Stories]



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Everyone knows I'm a stickler for good spelling. So when an associate e-mailed technical documents asking me to "decifer" them, I had to set him straight.

"Decipher is spelled with a 'ph', not an 'f'," I wrote. "In case you've forgotten, spell checker comes free with your Microsoft program."

A minute later his reply: "Must be dephective."

-- Story submitted by Joe Kaminsky   [Funny Stories]



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When Dean Kamen, an American inventor, unveiled the ultra-secret Segway human transporter in December 2001 (after spending more than ten years and $100 million on its development), it was supposed to herald a transport revolution. It would, Mr. Kamen declared, "be to the car what the car was to the horse and buggy".

John Doerr, the venture capitalist behind Amazon.com and Google, predicted that Segway, the eponymous company established to build the battery-powered super-scooters, would reach $1 billion in sales more quickly than any corporation in history. To handle the imminent consumer onslaught, Segway's factory in Bedford, New Hampshire, geared up to build 40,000 units a month.

There was no need, as it turned out. By the autumn of 2003, when Segway voluntarily recalled all the units it had sold to repair a problem that occasionally caused riders to fall off when the machine's batteries ran low, it transpired that only 6,000 of its human transporters had been sold, at an average of $4,500 each.

-- Story submitted by Kate Lol   [Funny Stories]



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