Funny Stories

Posted on 14 March 2019


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

-- Story submitted by Andrew Sullivan   [Funny Stories]



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My family has a tradition of naming the cruise control on our cars. We were used to hearing my father proclaim, "Take it, Max," as he flipped on the cruise control during long trips in our station wagon.

Recently, I was travelling with my parents in their new car when we hit a wide-open expanse of highway. My dad leaned back and said, "I think I'll let Tom drive for a while."

"Tom who?" I asked.

My mother translated for me: "Tom Cruise, of course."

-- Story submitted by Sara Harding   [Funny Stories]



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The biggest loser at my weight loss club was an elderly woman.

"How'd you do it?" we asked.

"Easy," she said. "Every night I take my teeth out at six o'clock."

-- Story submitted by Betsy   [Funny Stories]



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While visiting Manhattan one evening, British essayist/poet G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936) was taken to view the brilliant lights of Broadway.

After staring at the sea of scintillating product names and marquee advertisements for several minutes, Chesterton issued his verdict: "How beautiful it would be," he said, "for someone who could not read."

-- Story submitted by Lorraine   [Funny Stories]



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In Howard, Pennsylvania, USA a couple woke up to find a wild deer having a bubble bath in their home. Apparently the deer forced it's way into the house, galloped upstairs into the bathroom and started kicking around until the the tap water was turned on, knocked an open bottle of bubble bath into the tub and then jumped in.

Local vets tranquilized the deer and then returned it to the wild.

-- Story submitted by Samanta White   [Funny Stories]



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