Funny Stories

Posted on 13 March 2019


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Conversation With A Customer-Service Representative

Me: I have a Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer that is defective.

Customer Rep: Ma'am, we'll need the exact name of the item. Do you have the box?

Me: No, but it's the Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer.

Customer Rep: Ma'am, we'll need the box so we can have the exact name of the product.

Me: Hold on. I'll run out to my garage and get the box. (Long pause) OK, I have it. It says "Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer".

Customer Rep: Thank you for that information, ma'am.

-- Story submitted by Gary Finkle   [Funny Stories]



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During a field exercise at Camp Lejeune, N.C., my squad was on a night patrol through some thick brush. Halfway through, we realized we'd lost our map.

The patrol navigator informed us, "Our odds are 1 in 360 that we'll get out of here."

"How did you come up with that?" someone asked.

"Well," he replied, "one of the degrees on the compass has to be right."

-- Story submitted by cadet burger   [Funny Stories]



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When our local doctor began attending church services, the minister was delighted, and it wasn't long before they were helping each other in their work, the minister referring people to the doctor, and vice versa.

One referral from the doctor called at the church office with a note prescribing the minister's last four sermons. The minister was most pleased until he discovered that the patient's problem was insomnia.

-- Story submitted by Hanna Brendt   [Funny Stories]



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As I pulled into the parking lot at the department store, I noticed a car with its headlights on. I jotted down the make, color and licence number. Inside the store I joined the line at the information desk. When the clerk reached me, I told her a white Ford in the parking lot had its lights on and gave her the number.

"Thank you," she replied, and went on to another customer.

The lady next to me asked her indignantly, "Aren't you going to announce it?"

"There's no need," she replied sheepishly. "That car belongs to me."

-- Story submitted by Kate Lol   [Funny Stories]



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I needed a passport, and I needed it quickly. Luckily, a sign in the passport office told me exactly how long I could expect to wait: "Allow 10 minutes for regular processing and 15 minutes for expedited processing."

-- Story submitted by tattal   [Funny Stories]



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