Funny Stories

Posted on 12 December 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Nothing rattles my father-in-law, especially when the St. Louis Cardinals are on TV.

One day we were watching a game when my mother-in-law shrieked from the kitchen, "Jim, there's a horsefly in here!"

Not taking his eyes off the screen, he barked back, "Give it some cough syrup."

-- Story submitted by Ed   [Funny Stories]



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The comedian Howie Mandel was once expelled from his high school after impersonating a member of the school board and convincing a local construction company to begin construction of an addition onto the school.

-- Story submitted by Kate Lol   [Funny Stories]



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The first time my son was on a bike with training wheels, I shouted, "Step back on the pedals and the bike will brake!"

He nodded but still rode straight into a bush.

"Why didn't you push back on the pedals?" I asked, helping him up.

"You said if I did, the bike would break."

-- Story submitted by Paul Bacon   [Funny Stories]



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CLEVELAND, Ohio.
It was another typical morning for Elese Martin. She was just making her way into the bathroom when she thought she saw something floating in the toilet.

What she found when she bent over to peek into the bowl was the majority of a five-foot-long boa constrictor. The snake was attempting to slither its way into the apartment via the plumbing but was still partially trapped in the pipes. If Elese had walked in a few minutes later she would have found the animal coiled on the floor, or perhaps in the bathtub.

Police eventually caught it by using a noose designed for handling wild dogs. Police say the snake may have been a pet, but building managers say they would evict any resident who had kept the reptile in the building.

-- Story submitted by anonymous   [Funny Stories]



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Here is a funny one from last April when I decided to play a prank on my fellow employees. I never did anything to people in the past. It works great when most people get it 1st thing in the morning before coffee starts to kick in or other people make them aware of what day it is.

When anyone on the 1st went to log into their computer, I had it give them a message before it would give them the logon prompt. Here is a record of what it said. I made sure this didn't show on any laptops or places that this would have proven hazardous.

"Attention - Dirt detected in keyboard"

Your computer has detected that your keyboard is dirty and requires cleaning. Please follow these simple instructions below exactly as described to fix this problem:

1. Blow into the keyboard, around the keys, to loosen any dirt inside.

2. Pick up your keyboard. Be careful not to pull to hard on any wires.

3. Flip your keyboard over and shake gently.

4. Flip keyboard right-side-up.

5. Blow into keyboard again to loosen any remaining dirt.

6. Flip keyboard over again and shake gently.

7. Place keyboard back into its original position.

Great, your keyboard is clean. Now that you have done this, it is important that you also complete the following instructions.

1. Alert other people around you (if any) to the dirt that was in your keyboard and how you did a great job in cleaning it yourself.

2. Everyone have a good laugh at the April Fools joke that the IT Department has just played on you. Have a great day.

The funny part was some of the reactions I heard. I know I had fooled over 1/2 a dozen people, and I am sure I got others but they won't admin it. I heard stories of people fighting over cans of compressed air to do the cleaning, and some of them after following the instructions didn't even read the 2nd part about it being a joke. Every now and then I still bring it up and people say "That was a joke?"

-- Story submitted by ghost   [Funny Stories]



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