Funny Stories

Posted on 10 February 2019


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre.

Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please.
Operator: I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?
Caller: Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: Woven? Are you sure?
Caller: Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.

Caller: I'd like the RSPCA please.
Operator: Where are you calling from?
Caller: The living room.

Caller: The water board please.
Operator: Which department?
Caller: Tap water.

Operator: How are you spelling that?
Caller: With letters.

Caller: I'd like the number for a reverend in Cardiff, please.
Operator: Do you have his name?
Caller: No, but he has a dog named Ben.

Caller: The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please.
Operator: You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told the worried operator: I haven't got a pen so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on!

-- Story submitted by Ian Bailey   [Funny Stories]



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My father, a pastor, met with a couple who wanted to marry in his church. When he raised the subject of premarital counseling, the two were quick to nix it.

"We don't need counseling," the bride-to-be assured him. "We've both been married several times before."

-- Story submitted by Elaine   [Funny Stories]



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I was working my shift at a fancy restaurant and it had been a really hard day. My parents came in to have dinner and surprise me. After paying, they left a note saying they would see me at home.

It also said "By the way, no tip, because you stink at serving."

-- Story submitted by Rachel   [Funny Stories]



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One cold night my furnace died, so I went to my parents' house. In the morning, a neighbor called to tell me that my water pipes had burst and flooded my townhouse and hers.

I raced home, and on the way got a speeding ticket.

Then the furnace repairman arrived and told me he didn't think he had the proper fuse but would check in his truck. Meanwhile, the plumber cut holes in my bathroom wall to locate the leak.

When the furnace repairman returned, he held aloft a fuse. "I had the right one," he said triumphantly. "This must be your lucky day."

-- Story submitted by Gerry   [Funny Stories]



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Stories by Travel Agents

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts."

Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa."

Her response: click.

-- Story submitted by Mila Dorkin   [Funny Stories]



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