Funny Stories

Posted on 9 January 2019


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

My boyfriend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe in Huntington Beach, California. Our waitress looked like a real surfer girl: athletic with a great tan and blonde hair. Mulling over the menu, my guy asked her if the roast beef was rare.

The waitress gave us a stare and replied, "Well, no. We have it, like, just about every day."

-- Story submitted by edd   [Funny Stories]



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When my neighbor's granddaughter introduced me to her young son, Brian, I said to him, "My grandchildren call me Mimi. Why don't you call me that, too?"

"I don't think so," he retorted, and ran off after his mother.

Later I was asked to babysit for Brian, and we hit it off wonderfully. As he snuggled up to me, he said, "I don't care what your grandchildren say. I love you, Meanie."

-- Story submitted by Mimi   [Funny Stories]



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A customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen.

When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"

-- Story submitted by Joe Martin   [Funny Stories]



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In Zaire it has been found that the rare Pygmy chimpanzees have an amazing sexual appetite which outranks even the rabbit. They have been seen having sex in all different ways including males with males and females with females. It seems that sex is their main form of communication although the downside is that they can become very neurotic and some can die instantly of fright.

Female Pygmy Chimps often manipulate males by luring them into sex and then stealing their food.

-- Story submitted by Samanta White   [Funny Stories]



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I was working for a tech support outfit that operated 56k support all over the country. I get this call from a old man from North Carolina.

Customer: "Yer Internet ain't working, I stuck the disk in there and it ain't doing a thing."

Me: "Well Sir, we can do everything that the disk does manually, just take the disk out and we will take care of it."

I hear the disk slide out and then...

Customer : "Ya'll be quite back der I can't here the man speak."

Sheep :"BAAAAH,BAAAH..."

-- Story submitted by ghost   [Funny Stories]



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