Funny Stories

Posted on 5 August 2022


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was lost on the beach and the cop helped me look for my parents I said, "Do you think we'll find them?"

He said, "I don't know, kid, there's so many places they could hide."

-- Story submitted by Barry   [Funny Stories]



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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was and I told him, "62."

He was quiet for a moment, then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

-- Story submitted by Frida Z   [Funny Stories]



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The city of Whittier, California was founded many years ago, mainly by Quakers. There is a prominent sign composed of large, brass letters on one of the financial institutions in that community identifying it as the Quaker City Bank. The last letter of the first word fell off during an earthquake yesterday, making the sign read "Quake City Bank."

-- Story submitted by Hagar   [Funny Stories]



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Knowing my dismal reputation for keeping houseplants alive, my father gave me a clivia plant. "It's perfect for you," he said. "It thrives on neglect."

Several years passed and the plant bloomed only once. "You must not be neglecting it enough," my dad said.

Then our 21-year-old son moved back home to keep house while his father and I were away in Africa for three months. When we came home, the clivia was in full bloom.

-- Story submitted by Elaine   [Funny Stories]



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I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it cause it was prettier than most. The clerk said, "It's made in Germany".

I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then".

The clerk said, "What's the matter? You don't like German pens?"

I said, "No. I just never learned to write German."

-- Story submitted by Eddie   [Funny Stories]



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