Funny Stories

Posted on 21 February 2019


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

My daughter was going over to the neighbor's house to visit but didn't want to miss a call from her boyfriend so she took the cordless phone with her.

While at the neighbor's she wanted to check back at home to see if her younger brother was okay. My daughter then picked up the neighbor's phone and dialed our number...

While waiting for someone to answer the phone at home, the phone she brought over with her began to ring. She immediately hung up the neighbor's phone and answered our phone. There was no one there.

She wanted to know who it was who called so she used our phone to call our house. The line was busy...

Getting very frustrated she left the neighbor's to go home and see who was on the phone. No one was on the phone.

My daughter could not figure out what was going on until someone explained it to her.

-- Story submitted by Donna Wilkinson   [Funny Stories]



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The comedian Howie Mandel was once expelled from his high school after impersonating a member of the school board and convincing a local construction company to begin construction of an addition onto the school.

-- Story submitted by Kate Lol   [Funny Stories]



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On the way back from a cub scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, "Dad, I know babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?"

After my son hemmed and hawed a while, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, "You don't have to make up something, Dad. It's okay if you don't know the answer."

-- Story submitted by Ryan Bouchard   [Funny Stories]



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Homicides of the Year

1. Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbor in the early hours of a sunday morning. Her neighbor, Falt Hame, for years had a mounted F6 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet engine, aimed at a empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter would constantly complain to the local sheriff's officers about the noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss Winter over "for a cup of coffee and a chat" about the whole situation. What Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of the engine, as she walked into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5000 degrees, killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.

2. Jay Newton was killed after a co worker at Sea World Florida dropped a 20 tonne killer whale on him. The whale had been hoisted out of his tank by a Master Tonne Crane, when the victim swam underneath to inspect the harness his colleague, Brian Hartley released the whale crushing the victim instantly.

3. Carl Densinter, 34 years old, by a fellow worker trying to prove a point.The worker, San Amote Pet, disconnected the internal landing gear settings on a Boeing 747 test plane, and the plane's gear automatically retracted after take off. But come landing time wouldn't re-engage, the helpless Densinter couldn't do a thing as the plane ran out of fuel, in an attempt at an emergency landing the 747 exploded. Densinter was killed instantly.

4. Mary Dridely, Joseph Coles and Haven Gillies were killed as they walked past a New York apartment building. David Smee, 7 years old, and his 6 year old sister were left alone in their 27th floor hotel room by their parents as they went to the hotel's gaming room. Bored, the kids thought it'd be fun to try to squish the "Ant looking things on the foot path below" (people). They started by throwing fruit, then quickly graduated to chairs, televisions, even the drawers from the bedroom dresser.

-- Story submitted by edd   [Funny Stories]



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Malvin Marshall, 27, was finally released from jail in North Charleston, S.C., after being locked up for 6 weeks because a Police field test had found that he had heroin in his pocket.

The state lab had finally gotten around to analyzing the substance, which was determined to be VITAMIN PILLS that had gone through a wash cycle while in his pants pocket.

Said a police lieutenant, "The field test [is] not foolproof."

-- Story submitted by Lamber   [Funny Stories]



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