Funny Stories

Posted on 13 October 2021


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

My parents recently retired. Mum always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it.

"Oh, we returned the piano," said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead."

"How come?" I asked.

"Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she can't sing at the same time."

-- Story submitted by kiks   [Funny Stories]



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A man wearing a top-hat walked into the offices of the U.K. newspaper "The Sportsman" in the summer of 1909 and asked if the editor would publish the card of the Trodmore Hunt Steeplechase, scheduled to be held at the track in Cornwall that August. Impressed by the program for the event, the editor agreed and said he would also print the results. According to the paper, a horse named Reaper won, at 5-to-1 odds, and bookies subsequently paid out some sizable sums to winning bettors.

The only problem? The whole thing was a fantasy -- the race, Reaper, everything -- which several bookies noticed when the odds changed to 5-2 in the morning edition. The phantom race was apparently cooked up by the mysterious Mr. Martin, who was never seen again.

-- Story submitted by Lorraine   [Funny Stories]



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My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners."

Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk.

Back at the shop, he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation: "Remove bowling ball from trunk".

-- Story submitted by Greg   [Funny Stories]



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Running for re-election to the Senate, John McClellan of Arkansas showed up at a county fair to debate his opponent. As the challenger began his speech, he paused to pour himself a glass of water from a pitcher.

But when a newspaper photographer snapped his picture, the candidate missed the glass and poured the water over the heads of people standing in front of the stage. When McClellan took the microphone, he asked the crowd a simple question: "Do you want a senator who's too dumb to pour water into a glass?"

He was re-elected.

-- Story submitted by Andrew   [Funny Stories]



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On tour with the Boston Celtics, coach Arnold Auerbach (1917- 2006) met three of his players, each with an attractive young woman on his arm, in the hotel lobby at five o'clock in the morning. One of the players covered his embarrassment by introducing the young woman as his "cousin." Auerbach nodded politely. The player, desperately trying to make the unlikely tale sound more convincing, continued, "We were just on our way to church."

Auerbach, relating this story on a later occasion, remarked, "I couldn't take that. I fined him twenty-five dollars for insulting my intelligence."

-- Story submitted by Lorraine   [Funny Stories]



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