Funny Stories

Posted on 24 June 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Our Army physical-training program requires us to run two miles every other day in platoon formation. Being somewhat older than the other soldiers, I have trouble running faster than a ten-minute mile.

During a recent run, I was finding it difficult to complete the two miles without stopping, so I raised my hands high above my head to expand my diaphragm and gain my second wind.

Suddenly I heard a voice from behind me say, "Forget it, sergeant, we don't take prisoners."

-- Story submitted by Kevin Husher   [Funny Stories]



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A football player sat beside a boy in class that was really smart and the teacher knew that he was cheating, but she just couldn't catch him.

One day she was grading a test and she noticed that the smart boy had written "I don't know the answer" on number 10.

So she looked at the jock's paper and smiled. He had finally given himself away. His answer looked like this:

10. me neither

-- Story submitted by Kate Lol   [Funny Stories]



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As I pulled into the parking lot at the department store, I noticed a car with its headlights on. I jotted down the make, color and licence number. Inside the store I joined the line at the information desk. When the clerk reached me, I told her a white Ford in the parking lot had its lights on and gave her the number.

"Thank you," she replied, and went on to another customer.

The lady next to me asked her indignantly, "Aren't you going to announce it?"

"There's no need," she replied sheepishly. "That car belongs to me."

-- Story submitted by Kate Lol   [Funny Stories]



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After an enthusiastic recommendation from my wife, I began listening to the audiobook version of Frank McCourt's Teacher Man.

"I love it, but his writing style is so disjointed," I complained. "He refers to characters I don't know and introduces them a half hour later."

My wife was as confused as I was, but I soldiered on, disoriented by the jumpy story line. It wasn't until the end of the book that my dilemma was explained—I had set the iPod to Shuffle.

-- Story submitted by castor   [Funny Stories]



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