Funny Stories

Posted on 11 June 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Notwithstanding his famous miserly persona, Jack Benny, according to his manager Hilliard Marks, was a generous and considerate man. The morning after Benny's daughter Joan was married for the first time, his friend and fellow comedian Eddie Cantor was amused to find that, while the Los Angeles Times had a headline reading "Jack Benny's Daughter Married in $25,000 Affair," the Los Angeles Examiner declared: "Benny Spends $50,000 on Daughter's Wedding."

Cantor immediately called his friend. "Did you read the morning papers yet?" he asked.

"No," said Benny, who had been asleep.

"Well, do yourself a favor and just read The Times," Cantor replied. "You'll save $25,000!"

-- Story submitted by Lorraine   [Funny Stories]



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Conspiracy Theory

As a technical support engineer for a large company, we get calls from all over the country, and do all of our support over the phone. Our customer tracking system keeps track of customers, their products and the problems they call in about based on the customer's phone number.

Me: Thank you for calling technical support, my name is Andrea. Can I get your area code and telephone number please?

Customer: No.

Me: Pardon me?

Customer: No. You don't need to know my phone number.

Me: Ma'am, we use the phone number to call up your file so that I know what software you are working in and what problems you have had in the past. It also lets me write down what we do during this phone call, so that if you have to call again you won't have to re-explain.

Customer: No, I don't want to tell you my phone number.

Me: Ma'am, would you mind telling me your name?

Customer: Yes. You don't need to know who I am to help me out.

Me: Alright, well, how can I help you?

She starts describing her problem, it was a fairly common problem, solved by renaming a particular file, then launching the application, which would recreate it from scratch. I asked her to search on her computer for the file name so that we could rename it.

Customer: I don't want to do that.

Me: If you don't rename that file, you will keep having the problem.

Customer: I don't trust you people at (company name). You're going to do something to my computer that will make it so that you can see all my files and everything, and you'll know everything about me.

She never did let me make the changes, she finally decided she would call her computer technician and make sure that this wouldn't allow us to see her computer.

-- Story submitted by ghost   [Funny Stories]



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My grandmother called to tell me she'd gotten an e-mail account. "Great," I said. "Send me a message so I'll have your e-mail address."

I waited and waited, but she never sent it.

Several days later, an envelope arrived... Grandma had written her info on a piece of paper and mailed it to me.

-- Story submitted by castor   [Funny Stories]



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The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.

One lad snickered, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13".

-- Story submitted by Klara Borisha   [Funny Stories]



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