Funny Stories

Posted on 19 March 2019


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old"?

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. Hmmm... or could he?

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended morgan park high school.

"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a mustang," he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I asked.

He answered, "In 1962. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!" I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, wrinkled son-of-a-bitch asked, "What did you teach?"

-- Story submitted by pasadena   [Funny Stories]



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It's no secret that high gas prices have driven everyone crazy ? but one man in particular became so desperate that he attempted to steal a whole tanker truck full of gas. According to news reports, the man was so-hard pressed for gas for his luxury Hummer that he attempted to drive off in a tanker at a gas station.

It turns out that trying to make a clean getaway in one of the largest trucks on highways today isn't quite as simple as the man thought.

-- Story submitted by Paul Lee   [Funny Stories]



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I was preparing lunch for my granddaughter when the phone rang. "If you can answer one question," a young man said, "you'll win ten free dance lessons."

Before I could tell him I was not interested, he continued. "You'll be a lucky winner if you can tell me what Alexander Graham Bell invented."

"I don't know," I replied dryly, trying to discourage him.

"What are you holding in your hand right now?" he asked excitedly.

"A bologna sandwich."

"Congratulations!" he shrieked. "And for having such a great sense of humor..."

-- Story submitted by Diana   [Funny Stories]



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Overheard in a computer shop:

Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."

Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."

Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

-- Story submitted by Rob Mara   [Funny Stories]



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I work for a small college that maintains a decent public wireless network for students and teachers to use that is separate from the enterprise wireless that the college's laptops use.

Each user connects to this wireless like any other network but then when they browse, they get directed to a login page where they supply their username and password. This page has a few helpful tips but also a very clear warning that use of peer to peer file transfer software will result in a 15 minute disconnection.

We have to do this because one user can tie up a huge amount of wireless and internet bandwidth with just a few downloads - that, and we're tired of tracking down P2P users for every lawyer letter we get.

Every semester, the first week of school, our helpdesk gets dozens of calls and walk-ins from people who just don't read or even understand what they're doing with this software. We've even had people complain that we're limiting their freedom.

Sorry... but we all have to make your tuition and tax dollars go as far as possible. Thanks for playing.

-- Story submitted by ghost   [Funny Stories]



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