Funny Stories

Posted on 17 October 2021


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.

I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."

The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"

-- Story submitted by Sandra Mentrello   [Funny Stories]



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On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the underground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them.

"What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?" I joked.

"It would go out," he replied in a very factual manner.

"Really?" I asked, surprised to hear that. "Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?"

"No, the force from the explosion would blow out the match."

-- Story submitted by J.J.Harker   [Funny Stories]



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When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for. Then he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter.

"What are you doing?" his mom asked.

"The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

-- Story submitted by Monika Arnett   [Funny Stories]



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While I was working at a major telecommunications company, they started converting from a mainframe/terminal system to PCs. This was before LANS -- printers were shared via a multi-port printer sharing box.

The secretaries in our area all shared the same printer. One day a secretary complained that everybody else could print but her. There was a secondary walk space between the back of her computer and the wall, and sure enough someone had knocked off her printer cable.

We plugged the cable in, tested, and everything was okay. The secretary asked "Where did my print jobs go?" We tried to explain that those jobs were gone, and that she just needed to resubmit them. Since she was used to the mainframe system, she couldn't understand that her data hadn't ended up on another printer somewhere.

There happened to be a dirty spot on the wall behind her computer, made over the years as people slid between her desk and the wall. Her printer port happened to point towards that spot, so we told her that her print job data had made the spot -- the data was electricity (to flow on the cable) but since the cable fell off, the bits were shooting out the connector and hitting the wall. We also warned her to check that her cable was on before she walked through there, because the data bits would sting if they hit her.

Not only did she believe that, but she also had all of the other secretaries checking their cables so they wouldn't get stung either.

-- Story submitted by ghost   [Funny Stories]



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Nearly everyone knows that Judith Martin, better known as Miss Manners, the syndicated columnist, is exceedingly correct. Last week, she saw an advertisement in the newspaper that a Maryland jewelry store was having a sale in her silver pattern. Upon arriving at the store, she told the jeweler she was looking for additional dessert spoons in her pattern and had been making do with the larger soup spoons.

"That's not much of a hardship," the employee said.

"It is for me," Martin responded.

Caught up in the moment, the saleswoman joked, "Who do you think you are, Miss Manners?"

The easily recognizable Miss Manners looked at the woman, unable to respond. And then it registered.

"Oh my God!" the saleswoman said.

-- Story submitted by Tina Tobin   [Funny Stories]



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