Funny Stories

Posted on 23 May 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Young Kids With Real Insight

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming."
-- Alan, age 10

"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with."
-- Kirsten, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

"Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then."
-- Camille, age 10

"No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married."
-- Freddie, age 6

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

"Married people usually look happy to talk to other people."
-- Eddie, age 6

"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."
-- Derrick, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

"Both don't want no more kids."
-- Lori, age 8

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

"Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough."
-- Lynnette, age 8

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
-- Martine, age 10

6. WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?

"When they're rich."
-- Pam, age 7

"The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that."
-- Curt, age 7

"The rule goes like this: if you kiss someone, you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do."
-- Howard, age 8

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

"It's better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them."
-- Anita, age 9

"Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn't want to change no diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I'd just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing."
-- Kirsten, age 10

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

"You can be sure of one thing - the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now."
-- Roberta, age 7

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

"Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck."
-- Ricky, age 10

-- Story submitted by Sarah Parker   [Funny Stories]



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My teenage son's unwillingness to prepare even the simplest meal himself was driving me crazy.

"David," I said in exasperation one night, "you can easily take food out of the freezer and heat it in the microwave. You know how to push buttons, right?"

"Well," he replied, "I know how to push yours."

-- Story submitted by Frida Z   [Funny Stories]



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I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room... Until someone walked out of the one next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show.

-- Story submitted by draggirl   [Funny Stories]



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Scene: The office.

Me: We have to submit a form to every state.

Coworker: All 51?

Me: Fifty-one?

Coworker: Whatever. I'm not good at geometry.

-- Story submitted by castor   [Funny Stories]



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