Funny Stories

Posted on 10 October 2017


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Jump Start

About five years ago, the battery in my beat-up VW beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car.

I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 30 MPH for it to start. She said fine, hoped into her car and drove off.

I sat there fuming and wondering, "What can she be doing?" A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rearview mirror coming at me at about 40 MPH, I realized that I should have been a bit more clear with my directions.

-- Story submitted by Peter Reel   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one. There were none to be found.

John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and we climbed in. As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat. With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, I'll have one."

-- Story submitted by Eleanor Brown   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


Every Friday at lunchtime, my daughter, Heather, would bring home the pictures she had drawn at nursery school. Since I would never ask, "What is it?" I would suggest that we sit down, have cookies and milk and she could tell me the stories of the pictures.

Fast-forward 40 years. A friend and I took classes at a local art school. After a month, I brought home my pictures and invited Heather to come and give me her opinion.

"Mom," Heather said, looking at my drawings, "let's have a coffee and you can tell me the stories."

-- Story submitted by Elaine   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


A friend from West Virginia was shopping at the Wal-Mart in Blacksburg, VA. At the cash register, my friend wrote a check. The clerk asked for her driver's license. She presented her West Virginia drivers license.

The clerk grabbed it way from her and scoffed at her, "If you're going to use a fake ID, you could at least use a real state!"

A manager was required to verify West Virginia's statehood.

-- Story submitted by Barbara Reeve   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5