Funny Stories

Posted on 14 August 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Kids' quotes

What is love?
"Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

Is it better to be single or married?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them" (Lynette, 9)

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)

What is the correct age to get married?
"84, Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 8)

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife" (Tom, 5)

-- Story submitted by Jennifer Kent   [Funny Stories]



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I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal.

My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women.

-- Story submitted by Alex Pilano   [Funny Stories]



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Knowing my dismal reputation for keeping houseplants alive, my father gave me a clivia plant. "It's perfect for you," he said. "It thrives on neglect."

Several years passed and the plant bloomed only once. "You must not be neglecting it enough," my dad said.

Then our 21-year-old son moved back home to keep house while his father and I were away in Africa for three months. When we came home, the clivia was in full bloom.

-- Story submitted by Elaine   [Funny Stories]



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The Swallows Hotel in Gateshead, England, offered 11 chronic snorers a free night's stay so they it could test how well soundproofed the rooms are.

The hotel staff tape-recorded the sounds coming from the rooms and promised the loudest snorer a prize.

-- Story submitted by Ginger   [Funny Stories]



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