Funny Stories

Posted on 19 August 2022


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Everyone had weighed in, and our diet-workshop leader began her lecture on the week's topic - the problems of dining out. She talked about alternatives, such as requesting diet sodas and dressings, and having meat broiled instead of fried. Finally she turned the question over to the group for discussion. "What is the greatest problem you encounter when going out to eat?"

Replied one woman quickly, "Running into you!"

-- Story submitted by Nancy Turner   [Funny Stories]



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My 5th graders were doing their warm-ups when one came up to ask a question about something he didn't understand. He read it out loud to me: "According to the picture, how much would the orgasms be magnified."

I am so proud of myself... without busting, I politely corrected his pronunciation. "That word is organism Dear."

-- Story submitted by Emma   [Funny Stories]



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Two members of the Lothian and Borders traffic police were out on the Berwickshire moors with a radar gun recently, happily engaged in apprehending speeding motorists, when their equipment suddenly locked-up completely with an unexpected reading of well over 300 mph.

The mystery was explained seconds later as a low flying Harrier hurtled over their heads. The boys in blue, upset at the damage to their radar gun, put in a complaint to the RAF, but were somewhat chastened when the RAF pointed out that the damage might well have been more severe. The Harrier’s target-seeker had locked on to the ‘enemy’ radar and triggered an automatic retaliatory air-to-surface missile attack. Luckily, the Harrier was operating unarmed.

-- Story submitted by Sam Caprino   [Funny Stories]



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Back in the beginning of the 90s I worked as a technician in an university, and my job was to keep the PCs and Macs at the department connected to the university network. At this time, the network cabling was a coaxial cable in each floor in the building, terminated in both ends, and the computers were connected to this cable by using a T-connector directly at the main coaxial cable. This also meant that when we cut the cable to hook up a new computer, the computers at the other end lost the connection to the network.

One day, more than three quarters of the computers lost their connection, and the telephone went red from angry employees not being able to print. After a lot of work, we found the problem. One of the professors, convinced that this computer network was a threat to his health, had cut the coaxial cable and removed the part of it that was running through his office. We were not able to convince him that there was no harm in having the cable there, so altered the cabling so it wouldn't run through his office. Afterward, the professor was angry that he was not able to use the big laser jet printers that everybody else used.

-- Story submitted by colombo   [Funny Stories]



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In April 1997, a turkey hunter in Yellowwood State Forest, Indiana, came upon a huge sandstone boulder wedged between three branches of an oak tree about 35 feet from the ground. The arrow shaped rock was estimated to weight 500lb. Subsequently, four more large boulders were found wedged high up in trees elsewhere in the forest. All were in remote areas.

None of the trees were damaged and there were no signs of heavy equipment begin used or of tornado damage and no one recalled any mishaps involving dynamite anywhere nearby.

-- Story submitted by Helma Rosenthal   [Funny Stories]



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