Funny Stories

Posted on 1 December 2021


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

From halfway across the store, I could hear a mother calling for her son: "Jimmy, Jimmy!" I turned a corner into another aisle and found a six-year-old by himself playing with some umbrellas.

"Are you Jimmy?" I asked.

"Yes I am."

"Didn't you hear your mother call?"

"Yes."

"Aren't you going to go to her?"

He shook his head, "She's not hysterical yet."

-- Story submitted by Elaine   [Funny Stories]



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Top 13 Worst Slogan Translations Ever

13) When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, 'It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you.' The company thought that the word 'embarazar' (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: 'It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant.'

12) Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: 'Nothing Sucks like an Electrolux.'

11) Clairol introduced the 'Mist Stick,' a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that 'mist' is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the 'Manure Stick.'

10) Coors put its slogan, 'Turn It Loose,' into Spanish, where it was read as 'Suffer From Diarrhea.'

9) Pepsi's 'Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation' translated into 'Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave' in Chinese.

8) When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people can't read.

7) Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

6) Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, 'It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken,' was translated into Spanish as 'it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate.'

5) When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its 'Fly In Leather' campaign literally, which meant 'Fly Naked' (vuela en cuero) in Spanish.

4) An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of 'I saw the Pope' (el Papa), the shirts read 'I Saw the Potato' (la papa).

3) The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign 'Got Milk'' prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read 'Are You Lactating''

2) General Motors had a very famous fiasco in trying to market the Nova car in Central and South America. 'No va' in Spanish means, 'It Doesn't Go'.

1) The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as 'Kekoukela', meaning 'Bite the Wax Tadpole' or 'Female Horse Stuffed with Wax', depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent 'kokoukole', translating into 'Happiness in the Mouth.'

-- Story submitted by anonymous   [Funny Stories]



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Sears, the makers of Dorothy Johnson's microwave, were found not liable for the death of Mrs. Johnson's poodle after she gave it a bath and attempted to dry it by putting the poor creature in her microwave for, "Just a few minutes, on low."

The case was quickly dismissed.

-- Story submitted by edd   [Funny Stories]



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A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know you love Granger, but you're loving him too much. How would you feel if someone huge picked you up and squeezed you so hard you couldn't breathe?"

The boy thought a moment and then said, "I guess I'd feel like it was my birthday and Aunt Doreen was here!"

-- Story submitted by Liz Gross   [Funny Stories]



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My boss was staying at a hotel on a business trip for a few days when he received a distraught call from his wife. She was explaining how their 4 year old daughter was not behaving herself in front of her mother. So the father asked to speak with the little girl on the phone.

"Hi sweetheart, how are you doing?"

"I'm fine!"

"That's great to hear. Have you been behaving for your mother?"

"Yes. I-gotta-go-I-love-you-bye!" *click*

-- Story submitted by Tina Hoggins   [Funny Stories]



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