Funny Stories

Posted on 21 October 2017


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Even "Dear Abby" is Stumped

Dear Abby:
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby:
What can I do about all the sex, nudity, language and violence on my VCR?

Dear Abby:
I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby:
I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive, and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby:
I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby:
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a Good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby:
My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $60 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby:
Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he did it.

Dear Abby:
My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going through her mental pause.

Dear Abby:
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.

-- Story submitted by VickyLoo   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 a.m., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.

The man, frustrated, walked away!

-- Story submitted by Ray Coates   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing.

Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing.

-- Story submitted by keepsmiling   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


My aunt's young family with two boys ages 3 and 4, had attended church one spring morning.

As they left the church the pastor said, "Well, look at you boys, all bright eyed and bushy tailed!"

Joe the older boy loudly announced, "We don't got tails; we've got Dinkys!"

My aunt was mortified.

-- Story submitted by Maria Lopez   [Funny Stories]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5