Funny Stories

Posted on 18 October 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.
Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when company was due for dinner. Presently everything was on, the guests came in, and everyone sat down. Then Mother noticed something was missing.

"Susan," she said, "You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smith's place."

"I thought he wouldn't need them," explained Susan. "Daddy says... he always eats like a horse!"

-- Story submitted by Aida Parker   [Funny Stories]



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I was watching a British detective story on TV. The local group was gathering in their hunting best for a fox hunt. In the opening scene my nine-year-old daughter wanted to know what the people were doing, noticing the formal hunting outfits and well groomed horses. I replied that they were looking for a fox.

There was a short stunned silence and then she asked: "Is it a very important fox?"

-- Story submitted by Kate Lol   [Funny Stories]



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The Bank of England decided to replace the one pound banknote with a coin. In an apparent attempt to make the new coin look like the traditional one pound gold coin (referred to as a "sovereign"), it was to be thick, and was to be made out of a nickel-copper alloy, which had a yellowish color.

When the new "round pound" was issued, it quickly garnered the nickname "Maggie Thatcher" because it was "round, thick, brassy, and acted like a sovereign."

-- Story submitted by OceanViewer   [Funny Stories]



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Sarah and her thirteen-year-old sister had been fighting a lot this year (This happens when you combine a headstrong two-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent). Sarah's parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound interest in Santa Claus, reminded the two-year-old that Santa was watching and doesn't like it when children fight. This had little impact.

"I'll just have to tell Santa about your misbehavior," the mother said as she picked up the phone and dialed. Sarah's eyes grew big as her mother asked "Mrs. Claus" (really Sarah's aunt; Santa's real line was busy) if she could put Santa on the line. Sarah's mouth dropped open as Mom described to Santa (Sarah's uncle) how the two-year-old was acting. But, when Mom said that Santa wanted to talk to her, she reluctantly took the phone.

Santa, in a deepened voice, explained to her how there would be no presents Christmas morning to children who fought with their sisters. He would be watching, and he expected things to be better from now on.

Sarah, now even more wide eyed, solemnly nodded to each of Santa's remarks and silently hung the phone up when he was done. After a long moment, Mom (holding in her chuckles at being so clever) asked, "What did Santa say to you, dear?"

In almost a whisper, Sarah sadly but matter-of-factly stated, "Santa said he won't be bringing toys to my sister this year."

-- Story submitted by Rachel Mora   [Funny Stories]



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