Funny Stories

Posted on 15 December 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

A guide at Windsor Castle was struggling to make herself heard over the roar of low flying aircraft coming into land at nearby Heathrow.

She was interrupted by a tourist who demanded what was wrong with the town planners, and why had they built the castle so close to the airport.

-- Story submitted by VeggieQueen   [Funny Stories]



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My brother was recently launched into the "real world" and, shocked by the expenses that came with it, he was complaining about the high cost of auto insurance.

"If you got married," teased my dad, "the premium would be lower."

He smiled and said, "Dad, that would be like buying an airline just to get free pretzels."

-- Story submitted by krots   [Funny Stories]



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At the Deli Counter

Recently I had the following encounter in the deli section of a large grocery store:

Me: I'd like a pint of the jello salad, please.

(The kid behind the counter reaches for the cup-sized container.)

Me: Sorry -- pint, not cup.

Kid: Huh?

Me: (pointing) This size.

Kid: Oh. That's a pound.

Me: That depends on what you put in it.

Kid: Huh?

Me: "Pint" is volume, not weight. What that amount weighs depends on what you put in it.

Kid: This is a pound, not a pint.

Me: If you fill it with potato salad it's probably more than a pound; if you fill it with that marshmallow fluff it's a lot less.

Kid: Huh?

Me: Never mind, just give me a pound of jello.

In case you're wondering, my pound of jello weighed about 12 ounces.

-- Story submitted by Nata   [Funny Stories]



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In 1989, a Union Bridge, Maryland, high school permitted a female student, Tawana Hammond, 17, to try out for its football team under the pressure of a federal statute that bars school discrimination on the basis of gender.

On her first scrimmage, Tawana, a running back, was tackled and suffered massive internal injuries.

In October 1992, she filed a $1.5 million lawsuit against the county board of education for its alleged failure to tell her how dangerous football is.

-- Story submitted by law-n-don   [Funny Stories]



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