Funny Stories

Posted on 12 January 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Some teachers at state universities get to know their students fairly well. One instructor told his communications class of his plans to propose marriage.

A student spoke up and said that he had recently asked his girlfriend to marry him as well.

"What was her answer?" the instructor asked.

"I don't know," the student replied. "She hasn't e-mailed me back yet."

-- Story submitted by Lucy Povey   [Funny Stories]



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Homicides of the Year

1. Patty Winter, 35 years old, was killed by her neighbor in the early hours of a sunday morning. Her neighbor, Falt Hame, for years had a mounted F6 phantom jet engine in his rear yard. He would fire the jet engine, aimed at a empty block at the back of his property. Patty Winter would constantly complain to the local sheriff's officers about the noise and the potential risk of fire. Mr Hame was served with a notice to remove the engine immediately. Not liking this he invited Miss Winter over "for a cup of coffee and a chat" about the whole situation. What Winter didn't know was that he had changed the position of the engine, as she walked into the yard he activated it, hitting her with a blast of 5000 degrees, killing her instantly, and forever burning her outline into the driveway.

2. Jay Newton was killed after a co worker at Sea World Florida dropped a 20 tonne killer whale on him. The whale had been hoisted out of his tank by a Master Tonne Crane, when the victim swam underneath to inspect the harness his colleague, Brian Hartley released the whale crushing the victim instantly.

3. Carl Densinter, 34 years old, by a fellow worker trying to prove a point.The worker, San Amote Pet, disconnected the internal landing gear settings on a Boeing 747 test plane, and the plane's gear automatically retracted after take off. But come landing time wouldn't re-engage, the helpless Densinter couldn't do a thing as the plane ran out of fuel, in an attempt at an emergency landing the 747 exploded. Densinter was killed instantly.

4. Mary Dridely, Joseph Coles and Haven Gillies were killed as they walked past a New York apartment building. David Smee, 7 years old, and his 6 year old sister were left alone in their 27th floor hotel room by their parents as they went to the hotel's gaming room. Bored, the kids thought it'd be fun to try to squish the "Ant looking things on the foot path below" (people). They started by throwing fruit, then quickly graduated to chairs, televisions, even the drawers from the bedroom dresser.

-- Story submitted by edd   [Funny Stories]



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My 16 year old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away.

The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed.

-- Story submitted by Sophia   [Funny Stories]



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Texan prisons have banned convicts on death row from having a last cigarette, on the grounds that it is bad for their health.

-- Story submitted by Barry Waite   [Funny Stories]



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