Funny Stories

Posted on 21 June 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

A case for the Third Universal Cardinal Rule of Thumb: Never be absolute, unless absolutely necessary.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

-- Story submitted by Monica Finch   [Funny Stories]



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The RN went in to check the condition of one of her pediatric patients who was having constipation due to his pain medications.

As the nurse entered the room, the seven-year-old patient shouted, "I did it, I did it. I had a VOWEL movement!"

-- Story submitted by Diana   [Funny Stories]



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My husband and I often spell words so that our small children won't understand what we're saying. I didn't realize what a habit this had become until one day when my husband and I were in the grocery store at the soup aisle. An aggressive young woman banged into our cart, then nudged me over, blocking my access to the soup.

Annoyed, I looked at my husband and said, "Boy, is she r-u-d-e!"

"Yeah," he replied, "and I'll bet she can s-p-e-l-l."

-- Story submitted by Victoria Bartlett   [Funny Stories]



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A young boy helped with the chores and his parents paid him his allowance.

Later, when his mother brought him to the toy store, he looked at the prices and said, "It's a good thing I'm working!"

-- Story submitted by Elaine   [Funny Stories]



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