Funny Stories

Posted on 16 October 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

At Sea World, our grandson absolutely refused to see the show featuring Shamu the killer whale, but he wouldn't tell us why.

No amount of discussion could get him to change his mind.

Later, when we got home, we discovered the reason for his reluctance.

An aunt had told him how exciting the show would be because "They choose children from the audience to feed Shamu."

-- Story submitted by Gerry   [Funny Stories]



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I was driving my father and grandfather down a rough country road. My inexperience in handling Grandpa's four-wheel-drive vehicle made for a particularly bouncy ride.

Embarrassed, I offered a lame excuse, "The sun shadows through the trees make it hard for me to see all the potholes."

"Don't worry," Grandpa said. "You're getting most of them."

-- Story submitted by anonymous   [Funny Stories]



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Back in the beginning of the 90s I worked as a technician in an university, and my job was to keep the PCs and Macs at the department connected to the university network. At this time, the network cabling was a coaxial cable in each floor in the building, terminated in both ends, and the computers were connected to this cable by using a T-connector directly at the main coaxial cable. This also meant that when we cut the cable to hook up a new computer, the computers at the other end lost the connection to the network.

One day, more than three quarters of the computers lost their connection, and the telephone went red from angry employees not being able to print. After a lot of work, we found the problem. One of the professors, convinced that this computer network was a threat to his health, had cut the coaxial cable and removed the part of it that was running through his office. We were not able to convince him that there was no harm in having the cable there, so altered the cabling so it wouldn't run through his office. Afterward, the professor was angry that he was not able to use the big laser jet printers that everybody else used.

-- Story submitted by colombo   [Funny Stories]



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The History of the World In the Middle Ages, King Harlod mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings. Joan of Arc was canonized by George Bernard Shaw. The Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense. William Tell shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

In the Renaissance, Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull.

The painter Donatello's interest in the female nude made him the father of the Renaissance. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh invented cigarettes, and Sir Frances Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

Queen Elizabeth's navy defeated the Spanish Armadillo. William Shakespeare wrote about Romeo and Juliet, a romantic couplet. Miguel Cervantes wrote "Donkey Hote." John Milton wrote "Paradise Lost." Then his wife died and he wrote "Paradise Regained."

-- Story submitted by Greg Peake   [Funny Stories]



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