Funny Stories

Posted on 19 January 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

I was ill and my husband volunteered to go to the supermarket for me. I sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.

He returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two cartons of eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.

-- Story submitted by Jean Miller   [Funny Stories]



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Actual English subtitles used in Japanese films:

1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.

2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

3. Gun wounds again?

4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

5. A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

6. Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!

7. Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.

8. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

10. You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

11. I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!

12. You daring lousy guy.

13. Beat him out of recognizable shape!

14. I have been scared shitless too much lately.

15. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!

16. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

17. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.

20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.

21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.

-- Story submitted by Tim   [Funny Stories]



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How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

How Smart Is Your Right Foot? Trust me try this, it takes only few seconds.

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And, you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand... Your foot will change direction!!!

I told you so.. And there is nothing you can do about it.

-- Story submitted by funny   [Funny Stories]



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Returning home from a restaurant, two friends and I were stopped by a police officer. As my friend Jerome handed his license and registration over, he asked if he had been speeding. "You were doing just under 60 in a 50 zone, but I'm not going to give you a ticket," the officer said. We were puzzled when he asked Jerome to open the trunk, and more puzzled when he asked Jerome to go around to the back of the car with him. "I've got a burnt out taillight," the officer stated.

"Oh, no! Not again!" Jerome exclaimed. "I just replaced one a few weeks ago."

"No, no," the officer corrected. "I've got a burnt out taillight on a car exactly the same as this, and I was wondering if you'd show me how to change it."

-- Story submitted by Kira Shelt   [Funny Stories]



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