Funny Stories

Posted on 22 January 2019


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

We had made some changes in our lives. My husband had lost 50 pounds and after eight years of being a housewife, I had taken a job in a restaurant.

When I returned home after my first day at work, I gave my husband a big hug.

He seemed to cling to me longer than usual.

"Did you really miss me that much today, dear?" I asked.

"No," came the reply. "But you smell so much like pancakes that I hate to let you go."

-- Story submitted by Kira Shelt   [Funny Stories]



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Some trues examples of frivolous lawsuits in Texas:

1. A woman sued a man because he swore at her in traffic. He offered to meet her and apologize, but she refused and filed suit for $5,000. She won $2,500 at the trial court level, but the decision was reversed on appeal because she failed to prove her distress was more than what a reasonable person could endure.

2. A man in Fort Worth filed a lawsuit against Elvis Presley Enterprises, contending that the King faked his death and ran off to live a normal life. He says he knows for certain that Elvis is alive because he has had frequent telephone calls from him.

3. A South Texas man borrowed his neighbor's lawn mower. While mowing his own yard, he fell and pulled the lawn mower over his own foot. He sued his neighbor for $235,000. The jury awarded him nothing.

4. An inmate sued the county jail because he claimed there was an abundance of feathers near his cell and he was allergic to feathers, which caused his asthma to act up. The assistant district attorney commented, "A jailbird should never be complaining about feathers." The inmate then sued the newspaper that reported the comment, claiming the guards made fun of him after they read it.

-- Story submitted by law-n-don   [Funny Stories]



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From my living-room window I have a clear view of the street. Last summer, my neighbor's son was practicing skateboarding: zooming up and down the street, jumping, twisting and falling. These falls were spectacular. Each time, I breathed a sigh of relief when he rolled over and got up.

Once, he zoomed down the street, spun in the air and landed in a heap - then didn't move. I raced across the lawn, ready to call 9-1-1.

Just as the boy rolled over, his father burst from their home. "Yannick," he shouted, "those are new pants."

-- Story submitted by Diana   [Funny Stories]



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Our daughter's condo was the target of a break-in. The following morning in church one of her girlfriends came running to her, gave her a big hug, then told her, "You need to either get married or get yourself a pit bull."

A middle-aged usher offered his advice: "Get the pit bull!"

-- Story submitted by Danny   [Funny Stories]



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Tech Support

Receptionist: "Good morning; how may I help you?"

Caller: "I didn't understand your answering machine, so I thought I'd better hold on."

Receptionist: "Who would you like to speak to?"

Caller: "I was after testical support."

I put him through on the technical support line, but I suppose the obvious answer would have been to suggest a jock strap.

-- Story submitted by ghost   [Funny Stories]



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