Funny Stories

Posted on 19 April 2017


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax.

One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained.

When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad as it used to be?"

"Well, I suppose," she replied, "I'm still cooking there."

-- Story submitted by makhno   [Funny Stories]



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After an hour of "Just a little more white, two squirts of blue, a dash of black, perhaps a tad more white," the paint store clerk got my gallon to the exact shade I wanted. With a sigh of relief, he pounded the lid on.

"Now what do I do if I need more paint?" I asked.

"Don't come back here," he begged.

-- Story submitted by Peter Rossi   [Funny Stories]



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I was scrubbing a bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced:

"Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Discontinue all unnecessary work."

An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily routine, was confirmed with this announcement:

"Resume all unnecessary work."

-- Story submitted by Wess   [Funny Stories]



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Once I went on site to set up a computer for a school. I spend several hours setting up the equipment and configuring all the software and checking the Internet connection. When I left, everything was working perfectly.

The next morning, I got a call from the teacher, saying that the computer wouldn't turn on. Perplexed, I paid another visit. I sat down at the desk and looked at each component: the scanner was on, the monitor was on, the speakers were powered up, but the screen was blank. I looked under the desk, and, sure enough, none of the lights on the face of the computer were lit. I reached down, pushed the main power button, and the computer immediately came to life and booted up normally.

Me: "Why didn't you try that?"

Customer: "The light on the brain was on..."

She was pointing to the speakers.

-- Story submitted by ghost   [Funny Stories]



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