Funny Stories

Posted on 5 December 2017


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Conversation With A Customer-Service Representative

Me: I have a Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer that is defective.

Customer Rep: Ma'am, we'll need the exact name of the item. Do you have the box?

Me: No, but it's the Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer.

Customer Rep: Ma'am, we'll need the box so we can have the exact name of the product.

Me: Hold on. I'll run out to my garage and get the box. (Long pause) OK, I have it. It says "Roundup Multi Purpose Sprayer".

Customer Rep: Thank you for that information, ma'am.

-- Story submitted by Gary Finkle   [Funny Stories]



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As I serviced the alarm system at the jewerly store, the saleswoman let me know that the store was having a 20% off sale.

"I bet your girlfrind would love it if you bought her something," she suggested.

"I don't have a girlfriend," I answered.

"No girlfriend? Why not?"

"The wife won't let me."

-- Story submitted by foxtam   [Funny Stories]



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Our favorite museum in town displays quilts from around the country. When I visited recently, I asked the woman at the front desk about a senior discount. It wasn't to be.

"Sir," she said, "this is a quilt museum. We give discounts to teenagers."

-- Story submitted by Eddie   [Funny Stories]



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In 1873, a team of German explorers and their three dogs decided to penetrate the heart of the South American jungle. After twelve years, they had set up a fort in an Incan town, the centerpiece of which was a large idol with a huge ruby for an eye.

The German church had sent out their best man, Friar Wilhelm Werks, three times to check on the progress of the fort, and each time the appearance of the idol had sent him into fits of screaming, complete with shouts, curses, and rending of garments. Each time, he screamed so loudly that he sent the dogs running for cover. And each time, he left with a warning that the next time he visited, the idol had better be torn down.

The commander of the fort, Hans Brickner, received a message that Friar Werks would be coming to visit again in a fortnight. He quickly called a meeting with his top commanders. All five agreed that the friar would explode when he saw the idol still standing.

"But," said Commander Brickner, "there's nothing to be done. If we take down the idol, we will anger the local tribe, and without their cooperation, we're dead."

His second-in-command, Herr Kommandant Wagner, said, "In that case, we'd better make sure we put the dogs away."

"Why?"

"You know how scared the dogs get when Friar Werks goes off on the Fort of Jewel Eye."

-- Story submitted by Bobby Hay   [Funny Stories]



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