Funny Stories

Posted on 11 October 2021


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Last week, I checked into the Four Seasons in Palm Beach and was a bit lonely. I thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."

I looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony -a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and I felt quite certain I could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled bum.... you get the picture. I figured, what the heck, I'll give him a call.

"Hello, ma'am, how may I help you?"

Oh my, he sounded so-o-o sexy! Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated I rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything baby. Now how does that sound?"

He says, "Oh my goodness... that sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

-- Story submitted by cassandra   [Funny Stories]



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Most Friday nights at the Naval Station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the Officer's Club after work. One Friday, Rick, a newly married ensign, insisted he had to leave at 6 p.m. We all tried to talk him into staying, but he'd promised his bride he'd be home by six. I offered to call home for Rick.

When his wife answered the phone, I said, "Rick has been kidnapped. Put five dollars in small, unmarked bills in a plain brown paper bag and throw it in the door of the officers club." Then I hung up.

A short time later, a waiter brought a grocery bag to our table. In it were Rick's baseball glove, a tennis racket and a teddy bear. Attached to the bear was a note: "Rick can play kidnapped until 7 p.m. Then he must come home."

-- Story submitted by ritz   [Funny Stories]



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A federal magistrate ruled that the Alabama prison policy of allowing female guards to oversee showers by male prisoners is not "cruel and unusual punishment" for the men but a reasonably policy for security and equal employment opportunities for female guards.

-- Story submitted by Tim Meister   [Funny Stories]



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Larry Hagman once purchased a Malibu home next to that of Burgess Meredith (whom he had known, and occasionally worked with, for some forty years). When his alterations yielded a home two inches higher than planned, Meredith sued and, after a prolonged legal battle, lost.

Some time later, Meredith, originally a Shakespearean actor, fell upon hard times and was obliged to accept the embarrassing role of the Penguin on the campy hit television series "Batman".

Apprised that Meredith was planning a large party (to which he of course had not been invited), Hagman ordered fifty flags emblazoned with the Penguin's image. Then, on the day of the party, he flew the flags above his home and waved to his livid neighbor's guests while a looped tape of the Penguin's trademark cries blasted from his windows.

(The men later made amends.)

-- Story submitted by Lorraine   [Funny Stories]



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ATHENS - A bride-to-be suffered a nervous breakdown the night before her wedding on the Greek island of Crete when she discovered the groom, dressed in her wedding gown, in the arms of his best man.

The future husband and wife were celebrating at separate parties when the bride's friends asked to go see the wedding dress at the couple's home. When they arrived, they found the gown-clad groom in a passionate embrace with the best man. The young woman has been treated at a clinic, and the wedding has been canceled.

-- Story submitted by anonymous   [Funny Stories]



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