Funny Stories

Posted on 22 May 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Because of a minor infraction, a shipmate of mine aboard the USS Reeves, bound for Japan, was busted one rank, fined and given extra duty for three weeks. Looking forward to celebrating his 21st birthday on July 22, he consoled himself every night during his extra duty by reciting, "They can bust me, they can fine me ­ but they can't take away my birthday."

As July 22 approached, his excitement increased. When he went to bed on July 21, he happily repeated, "They can bust me, they can fine me - but they can't take away my birthday."

The next morning, he found out that the ship had crossed the international date line - it was July 23.

-- Story submitted by makhno   [Funny Stories]



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As Sarah's extended family of twelve gathered around the big table for a holiday feast, her husband Don raised a glass of wine and said, "I'd like to make a toast, everyone."

All the guests but Sarah's six-year-old daughter Paige raised their glasses. Paige announced, "I want some turkey, not toast, please."

-- Story submitted by Diana   [Funny Stories]



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The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.

It seems that in England, they had a men's club, Bachelors’ Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear or even hate marriage.

The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law in nightgown, hair curlers, and a mud pack.

-- Story submitted by Sam Caprino   [Funny Stories]



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I work for the IT department in my company, I've been here for almost two years now. I'm still considered the rookie nonetheless.

I get all sorts of odd situations every day which I just can't allow myself to laugh at, because the stupidest of them are done by the higher-ups.

There's this one guy in accounting who uses his laptop computer to store some of his pictures. One day, he calls at my desk and the conversation is as follows:

"I'm trying to open my image files but something weird happens every single time."

Me: "Okay, what's that and how long has it been doing it?"

"Just started doing it. I open up the image and it shows up a bunch of algorithms..."

Me: "Can you try closing that image and then opening it up again by double left-clicking on it?"

"Okay... Still showing up all those crazy numbers and symbols."

So I figure, it's early in the morning, what the heck. I'll just get over there and see what I can do.

I stood next to him and once I saw his procedure for opening up images: Which consisted of opening up Excel - voluntarily - then clicking "File", "Open" and going all the way to his My Images document and single-handedly opening the image.

"See? Does that every time."

I smirked, before telling them Excel is a calculating sheet, not an image viewer. I then told them that they should open it using Windows' built-in Preview software.

Walked back to my office wondering how come the company pays 1.5k$ laptops for those people, while the IT department's stuck with 8 year-old hardware.

-- Story submitted by ghost   [Funny Stories]



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