Funny Stories

Posted on 12 December 2017


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice. Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, "What should I feed Lily for lunch?"

"That's up to you," I replied. "There's all kinds of food. Why don't you pretend I'm not at home?"

A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my husband asking, "Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh...what should I feed Lily for lunch?"

-- Story submitted by Irene Randle   [Funny Stories]



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While instructing my kindergartners in the proper use of computers, I reminded them it was important to use quiet voices.

"Does anyone know why?" I asked.

One student had an answer: "So everyone can constipate."

-- Story submitted by Kate Lol   [Funny Stories]



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Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with: "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come..."

At which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause.

-- Story submitted by Sophia   [Funny Stories]



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I'd had enough of searching high and low for my newspaper every morning, so I called the delivery service and complained. After listening to my rant, the clerk asked, "Where do you usually find your paper?"

"Sometimes in the bushes, sometimes on my porch," I stated.

"Okay," she said. "And where would you prefer to find it?"

-- Story submitted by Drew   [Funny Stories]



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