Funny Stories

Posted on 11 October 2017


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides. The Crown prosecutor asked such questions as: Had I ever been mugged? Did I know the victim or the defendant?

The defense attorney took a different approach, however. "I see you are a teacher," he said. "What do you teach?"

"English and theater," I responded.

"Then I guess I better watch my grammar," the defense attorney quipped.

"No," I shot back. "You better watch your acting."

When the laughter in the courtroom died down, I was excused from the case.

-- Story submitted by Ken   [Funny Stories]



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My father always loved fast cars. Taking advantage of the empty roads one morning, he accelerated down a wide-open stretch.

Unfortunately, a young police officer was waiting at the other end, and Dad was flagged down. He greeted the officer with a cheery, "Good morning."

"And a good morning to you, Wing Commander," replied the officer. "Having trouble taking off?"

-- Story submitted by Tom-tom   [Funny Stories]



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Two little girls from the neighborhood came by with a wagon load of rocks and asked if I'd like to buy one. They were so excited about earning their own money that I purchased a few.

As they were leaving, I heard one say, "See, I told you. People will buy anything."

-- Story submitted by Jaimie   [Funny Stories]



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I went out for dinner with my parents where they asked me if I was still dating my boyfriend so I answered no. They quickly responded by saying, "Oh so you finally got rid of that douchebag? It's not like he was getting anywhere in life anyways."

I answered no because he's my fiance now.

-- Story submitted by anonymous   [Funny Stories]



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