Funny Stories

Posted on 18 August 2017


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny stories updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames began pouring from under my hood.

Frantic, I bolted into the store and ran up to the first clerk I saw. As luck would have it, he was standing behind the Customer Service counter.

"Please help," I gasped. "My car's on fire! I need a fire extinguisher!"

Without even looking up, he replied, "Aisle 12."

-- Story submitted by makhno   [Funny Stories]



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From "The Houston Chronicle":

A defense attorney in a Northern California murder case says he believes Max the parrot may hold the answer to who smothered Jane Gill to death in her bedroom two years ago. But an attempt to get the African gray parrot's testimony into evidence last week was blocked by the judge.

Max was found dehydrated and hungry in his cage two days after Gill's murder. After the parrot was coaxed back to health at a pet shop, the shop's owner said the bird began to cry out, "Richard, no, no, no!" The man charged in the case is Gill's business partner, and his name is not Richard. He says he is innocent.

Gary Dixon, a private investigator working on the case, surmised that the bird is now in a witness-protection program. "Max's identity has been changed, and he is now a macaw," he said.

-- Story submitted by law-n-don   [Funny Stories]



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Romance novel cover boy Fabio is OK after being injured on a roller coaster at Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Va.

The akimbo Adonis, making a public appearance to inaugurate the new ride, was hit in the face by a bird while being the first to ride the coaster. When the train came to a halt, he was covered with blood from a gash on his face. When told of the incident, a spokeswoman for Fabio's publisher reacted, "Oh my God! Think if his mouth was open!"

That's the secret to his success: he never opens his mouth.

-- Story submitted by Madia   [Funny Stories]



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Coincidence?

On 2002, Seventy-year-old twin brothers have died within hours of one another after separate accidents on the same road in northern Finland. The first of the twins died when he was hit by a lorry while riding his bike in Raahe, 600 kilometres north of the capital, Helsinki. He died just 1.5km from the spot where his brother was killed.

"This is simply a historic coincidence. Although the road is a busy one, accidents don't occur every day," police officer Marja-Leena Huhtala told Reuters. "It made my hair stand on end when I heard the two were brothers, and identical twins at that. It came to mind that perhaps someone from upstairs had a say in this," she said.

-- Story submitted by h33   [Funny Stories]



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