Jokes

Posted on 22 January 2017


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny jokes updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Boss, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to let one of you go."

Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority."

Female Employee: "And I'm a woman."

Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin."

To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: "I think I might be gay..."

-- Joke submitted by Selinder   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


Lots of things go on during "spring break" as the college students let off a little steam. This one student was arrested for indecent exposure in a field near the beach, and was appearing before a judge. "I plead not guilty, Your Honor. I only went there to get relieved," he testified.

"Well, I'm inclined to accept your explanation." said the judge. "I guess some allowances must be made for 'emergencies'."

"That's true to a point, Your Honor," said the arresting officer. "But what about this young lady here who relieved him?"

-- Joke submitted by Erich Hahn   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment. They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket.

"What is that?" she asks.

"Those are my golf balls."

"Is that like tennis elbow?"

-- Joke submitted by Kromst   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


A man walks over the Red Light District in Amsterdam when suddenly he notices a fine looking hooker looking at him. He stops, bangs on the window and asks, "So, what does this cost?"

The hooker replies, "25 dollars."

The man said, "Hmm, that's not a lot of money for insulated windows."

-- Joke submitted by Joe Perry   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family.

"We've been trying for months now, doctor, and I don't seem to be able to get pregnant," she confessed miserably.

"I'm sure we'll solve your problem," the doctor reassured her.

"If you'll just take off your clothes and get up on the examining table."

"Well, all right, doctor," agreed the young woman, blushing, "but I'd rather have my husband's baby."

-- Joke submitted by Susan Johnson   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move.

“No thank you,” she said politely. “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.”

“That must be rather difficult,” the man replied.

“Oh, I don’t mind too much,” she said. “But, it makes my husband pretty upset."

-- Joke submitted by Kevin Bert   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


When Donna found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of his parents' private conversations. One day when Donna and her 4-year-old were shopping a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.

"Yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!"

-- Joke submitted by Fiona   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on the beach.

The marriage counselor told him, "If you wish to save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder."

-- Joke submitted by Eva Gess   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5