Jokes

Posted on 28 May 2022


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny jokes updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

After a few years of married life, this guy finds that he is unable to perform in bed anymore. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.

Finally the doctor says to him, "This is all in your mind", and refers him to a psychiatrist.

After a few visits to the shrink, the shrink confesses, "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured."

Finally the psychiatrist refers him to witch doctor.

The witch doctor tells, "I can cure this", and throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. The witch doctor says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks the witch doctor, "What happens when it's over?"

The witch doctor says, "All you have to say is '1234' and it will go down. But be warned it will not work again for a year!"

The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news. So, he is lying in bed with her and says "123", and suddenly he gets a massive erection.

His wife turns over and says, "What did you say '123' for?"

-- Joke submitted by SweetLime   [Jokes]



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A scientist named Walter invented a shrinking ray.

He tried it on himself, and it worked. Unfortunately he couldn't reverse the process, and he was stuck being the size of a normal man's thumb.

He had a loyal lab assistant who worked with him, though, so his diminutive size didn't affect Walter's work too much.

Still, after a while, Walter began to long for female companionship.

His lab assistant thought up a highly unethical plan. He planned to get a couple of ladies of the night, shrink them down to Walter's size, and keep them shrunk until they could figure out a way to reverse the process.

The lab assistant went to Times Square and tried to get the young ladies, but it was trickier than it seemed. They were reluctant to travel all the way to the lab, but the lab assistant offered to double their usual rate, so they finally agreed.

As soon as they stepped into the lab, the assistant turned on the shrinking ray. There was a flash of light and a puff of smoke, and
when the air had cleared --- the prostitutes were exactly the same size as they were before.

"What's the big idea? Eek!" One of the prostitutes saw Walter scurrying across the floor and squashed him flat with her shoe.

Walter was dead, and the experiment was ruined. This was all because the lab assistant forgot what everyone already knows: ...

... You can lead the whores to Walter, but you can't make 'em shrink.

-- Joke submitted by ppl   [Jokes]



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A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!"

The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

-- Joke submitted by Hagar   [Jokes]



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A guy went to the drug store and got a box of condoms.

He found a check out counter with a girl that he thought was really cute. He walked up to her, and said: "Do you know where the fitting rooms are? Oh, and I might need some assistance."

-- Joke submitted by anonymous   [Jokes]



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A guy went to the drug store and got a box of condoms.

He found a check out counter with a girl that he thought was really cute. He walked up to her, and said: "Do you know where the fitting rooms are? Oh, and I might need some assistance."

-- Joke submitted by anonymous   [Jokes]



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