Jokes

Posted on 20 October 2018


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny jokes updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

Thoughts To Ponder

1. Is there ever a day that mattresses aren't on sale?

2. They make bullet proof vests, why not bullet proof pants?

3. Is there any difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?

4. How does one know when their bagpipes need tuning?

5. Allstate Insurance has a disclaimer that reads: not available in all states. What?

6. Why does the word lisp have an "s" in it?

7. How come you never read the headline, "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

8. Is it really possible to change the direction of a bowling ball by waving your hands?

9. There's senior citizens, so why aren't there junior citizens?

10. They say laughter is the best medicine - so who came up with the phrase, "I died laughing"?

-- Joke submitted by Emily Garcia   [Jokes]



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A Code Of Ethical Behavior For Patients

1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort. Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose valuable scientific objectivity.

2. Be cheerful at all times. Your doctor leads a busy and trying life and requires all the gentleness and reassurance he can get.

3. Try to suffer from the disease for which you are being treated. Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.

4. Do not complain if the treatment fails to bring relief. You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent disability you may have experienced.

5. Never ask your doctor to explain what he is doing or why he is doing it. It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be explained in terms that you would understand.

6. Pay your medical bills promptly and willingly. You should consider it a privilege to contribute, however modestly, to the well-being of physicians, health care managers and other humanitarians.

7. Do not suffer from ailments not covered by your health care plan. It is a waste of resources to contract illnesses that are beyond your means.

8. Never reveal any of the shortcomings that have come to light in the course of treatment by your doctor. The patient-doctor relationship is a privileged one and you have a sacred duty to protect him from exposure.

9. Never die while in your doctor's presence or under his direct care. This will only cause him needless inconvenience and embarrassment.

-- Joke submitted by Alyssa Wilson   [Jokes]



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