Jokes

Posted on 20 April 2017


We are happy to share with you a collection of funny jokes updated daily. As always, we appreciate your contribution to this collection.

A teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance of curiosity. "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one had ever been curious?"

One child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "In the Garden of Eden?"

-- Joke submitted by colombo   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


"Oh goodness," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"

Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised. You've been giving me a piece of it every day for thirty years!"

-- Joke submitted by Liz Gross   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


A traveling salesman was held up in the west by a rainstorm and flood. He e-mails his office in NY: "Delayed by storm. Send instructions."

His boss e-mails back: "Start vacation immediately!"

-- Joke submitted by makhno   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


An elderly patient went to the doctor.

"I need your help, Doctor," he said. "Do you remember those voices in my head which I've been complaining about for years?"

"Yes."

"Well, they've suddenly stopped."

"That's good. So what's the problem?"

"I think I might be going deaf."

-- Joke submitted by Mike Eaton   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


One afternoon a woman came home to find two little girls on the steps of her building. Both were crying hard, shedding big tears.

Thinking they might be hurt, she dropped her briefcase and quickly went over to them. "Are you all right?" the woman asked.

Still sobbing, one girl held up her doll. "My baby's arm came off," she said.

The woman took the doll and its disjointed arm. After a little effort and luck, the doll was again whole.

"Thank you," came a whisper.

Next looking into the tearful eyes of her friend, the woman asked, "and what's the matter with you, young lady?"

The other girl wiped her cheeks. "Nothing, I was just helping her cry," she answered.

-- Joke submitted by Becky   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


A blonde was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".

After much thought he wrote: "YES".

-- Joke submitted by Kate Lordner   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


What is Marriage

Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence -- a life sentence.

Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.

Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.

-- Joke submitted by Peter Lovato   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5


"So", thundered Larry's furious father, "you've been expelled from college, have you?"

"Yes, Dad. I am a fugitive from a brain gang."

-- Joke submitted by Linda Truss   [Jokes]



  1

  2

  3

  4

  5